She's Theirs
by MysteryWriter2187
Summary: Final instalment of the He's Mine trilogy. A week after the events of He's Ours, Toothless neutrally observes a conflict of romance, jealousy and a surprising level of violence. Despite Hiccup and Astrid's insistence that he mind his own business, Toothless can't help but partake in Eret, Heather and Camicazi's dilemma. Toothless POV.
1. Anger

It had been about a week since the incident at Stoick's memorial. I was sitting with Astrid and Hiccup in the Academy. After a whole day of running the village, the happy couple were finally just sitting down, enjoying a well-deserved hour of peace and quiet.

Astrid had gotten better since the fight with Ruffnut. Her face still had bruising, mainly on her left cheek and under her right eye, and under her shirt she had a few scars and bandages where the glass had slashed her, but it didn't bother her as much. The night before, we'd learned that she could finally sit on her back for the first time in a week.

 _ **"Ugh!"**_ we all looked up to see Camicazi storming into the Academy, holding an old hatchet in her hand. Hiccup and Astrid both said _"hey, Cami..."_ before she angrily threw the hatchet hard against the wall, letting it hit the rock with a resounding _**CRACK!**_

 _"Uh-oh..."_ Hiccup groaned, this usually being a warning sign that Cami was in a mood. Astrid looked at him, then at me, before turning to Cami and saying _"uh... you okay? Cami?"_

 _ **"Just look up there!"**_ Cami snapped angrily as she pointed to the sky. _**"The sheer audacity!"**_

We all looked up to the sky, seeing Windshear and Skullcrusher flying through the air. Squinting a bit, I was able to see Heather and Eret, both laughing and joking and having a great time. Well, I knew it was _jealousy_ I detected on that night, but if I have to be honest, I hadn't expected Cami to be _**this**_ furious.

Astrid and Hiccup, who clearly had the same thoughts I had, glanced at each other with concerned faces. They clearly didn't know how to approach this, not that I could help, for that matter.

 _ **"Who does he think he is?! That boy is tangling with the wrong woman!"**_ Cami snapped angrily as we all went wide-eyed with shock. Cami was always very excitable, especially when she was either happy or angry, but I was still surprised that she was so jealous of Heather and Eret. I'd never even seen her and Eret have a conversation yet, but now she was acting like they were basically _betrothed_ , and that Heather was stealing him from her.

Or so I thought, until Cami finished her sentence and I realised why she was _really_ upset.

 _ **"I saw Heather first! That stripy-chinned dragon-trapper has no right taking her away from me!"**_


	2. Alliance

**_Cami was in love with Heather?!_**

My initial thoughts were mainly regarding what a huge twist this seemingly was, but after a moment, I remembered the day Cami came to Berk.

* * *

 **That day (AKA He's Mine Chapter Nine)...**

 _ **"Hi guys!"**_ Heather called as she entered the Hall and walked over to us. I was initially worried about how she'd react to Cami, since Heather had always had a horrible problem with trusting people straight away. Surprisingly, Heather was perfectly happy, even with the unfamiliar presence, looking at Cami before turning to Hiccup and Astrid as she said _"oh… who's this?"_

"Heather, this is Camicazi, the heir to the Bog Burglars…" Hiccup said, trying to sound professional only to fail miserably as Cami playfully shoved him aside and said "it's actually _Ze **Great** Camicazi_. Heir to the Bog Burglar Tribe, master swordswoman and the most cunning and talented burglar in the _**entire**_ Archipelago… _at your service_ …"

 _"Ooh, interesting..."_ Heather said, taking a few moments of resisting before glancing for a split-second at Cami's chest. As the group talked at a table, I noticed Heather and Cami look at each other several times, always making sure the other wasn't already looking when they did. I wouldn't have cared, after all, people looked at each other all the time. But it was something about _the way_ they looked at each other. It was hard to explain, but the only two people I've ever seen look at each other like that were Hiccup and Astrid.

* * *

 **Present day...**

After recapping that night, I was suddenly wondering why I had really been so surprised at first. As I looked at Hiccup and Astrid, I saw they were still dumbfounded. Not by Cami's sexuality, obviously, since she'd clearly been _gushing_ about Astrid long before actually meeting her, but just the fact that _Heather_ was the girl she had her heart set on.

 _ **"I just can't believe that Eli dude!"**_

 _"Eret..."_ Astrid said in a deadpan tone, prompting Cami to scoff as she said _**"oh, whatever! I know exactly who he used to be! He can't just move in here like he owns the place!"**_

"I'm sorry, but in what way is dating Heather giving off the impression that he thinks he owns the place?" Hiccup asked. "Look. Cami, I think you just need to calm down..."

 _ **"You calm down, Hiccup! Ugh! I can't believe you're taking his side!"**_

"What? No! I'm not taking anybody's side, Cami!" Hiccup groaned. Astrid held his hand as she said "Cami, come on! There are no sides in this! It's a relationship!"

 _ **"A bad relationship!"**_ Cami insisted. _**"What? You think Heather's gonna be happy with that jerk?"**_

As she said this, we heard a female voice, obviously Heather's, shouting _**"WOO-HOO!"**_ as we looked up to see her leaping off Windshear and falling through the air to be caught by Eret and lifted onto Skullcrusher. Astrid shrugged as we saw this, saying "well... she seems pretty happy to me..."

 _ **"Ugh! Why am I even talking to you people!"**_ Cami snapped with a surprising amount of venom as she tore the hatchet out of the wall and stormed out. I turned back to look at Hiccup and Astrid, both of them sighing before saying perfectly in-sync _"pft... Bog Burglars..."_

I kept looking where Cami had gone, but I felt Hiccup's hand gently pat my head. "Don't worry about Cami, Toothless..."

 _"Or worse, try to get involved..."_ Astrid snarked as I grinned awkwardly at them both. They'd forgiven what I'd done, but it was clear to me that my little incident last week as well as my first meeting with Cami at the last treaty signing was still fresh in both their minds.

* * *

I decided to leave Hiccup and Astrid to themselves as I walked out of the Academy and into the village. It didn't take me long to find Cami, since she was next to the main stable.

Ruffnut was there too, fulfilling her sentence for what she had done the week before. She may have had a smile on her face and stayed pleasantly silent, especially whenever Hiccup, Astrid, Valka or myself were around, but she was clearly miserable.

She should really have considered herself lucky, considering Astrid was very insistent on finishing the beating she had tried to give her that night. She'd clearly been bitter at Hiccup for giving Ruffnut a more lenient punishment, but I suppose cleaning the dragon waste from the stables for the next month was probably punishment enough. Ruffnut was clearly traumatised enough by it, and I'm sure Cami being so close to her felt even worse.

 _"Oh, hey big fella..."_ Cami said, forgetting her anger at Eret for just a moment to pet my head affectionately. _"Sorry about that little scene over at the Academy, but I just can't believe all this..."_

When she wasn't looking even I had to roll my eyes. As excited as I was to see what could happen, I had to sympathise with Hiccup's suggestion that she _was_ simply overreacting.

 _ **"First Heather, now Hiccup and Astrid! Ugh! He's turning the entire village against me! Stupid Eret, son of whats-his-name!"**_ I heard Cami grunting as I walked into the stable. She aggressively tore open one of the bags of food and began throwing the contents into the pen where her dragon, Furious, was sitting waiting to eat. I noticed Ruffnut's ears prick up as Cami said this.

"You hate that guy too, huh?" she snarked. Cami scoffed, saying _"what? He screwed you over too, Ruff?"_

Ruffnut and I both went wide-eyed. This was the first time Cami had _ever_ called Ruffnut by her actual name. It was usually either her brother's name (and vice-versa for Tuffnut) or a pun/insult variant such as numb-nut. But the fact that she had dropped her little torment must have meant that this really was a _serious_ situation for her.

 _"Well... yeah, he did..."_ Ruffnut said as she got up out of the filth she had just cleaned. _"I used to have a crush on him, but he told me that he'd even pick **Skullcrusher** over me..."_

She sounded upset as she spoke. Not manipulatively upset like she had been with me the week before, but as if Eret's words had genuinely hurt her. Cami was visibly shocked by this, putting a comforting hand on Ruffnut's shoulder and saying "aw... you poor thing... and, if it's any consolation, I personally think you're much more attractive than a Rumblehorn."

 _"Thank you..."_ Ruffnut managed to force a smile out, a surprisingly genuine one considering who she was talking to. They both seemed to have forgotten that I was there as a smug grin came to Cami's face. "You know, Ruff... maybe you and I can help each other out here..."

I noticed the two look at each other, both smiling mischievously as Ruffnut said _"yeah... definitely..."_


	3. Advice

I was resting on the windowsill of Gobber's blacksmith stall about an hour later, allowing me to look outside to see Heather talking to Astrid as they fed Stormfly and Windshear.

"So... Heather, you uh... you and Eret get along pretty great, huh?"

 _"Oh, yeah... it's a lot of fun with him..."_ Heather sighed happily without really considering how she had worded that sentence. Astrid raised an eyebrow, usually a sign that she was about to make a snarky comment. Heather was confused as to why Astrid was pulling this face, until her eyes widened as she said _"oh no! **No no no no, I was not talking about that!** Ha ha... oh, Gods..."_

They both laughed mischievously, before Heather finally regained her breath and said _"yeah, no... Astrid, we've uh... Eret and I haven't done anything like **that** yet..."_

Astrid scoffed, saying "and this is coming from the person who told me that _life's too short_..."

"Well _I_ haven't had _eighteen years_ to think about _my_ relationship..." Heather had an eyebrow raised as she said this with a grin, prompting Astrid to shrug in defeat as she said "alright, I'll give you that... ha ha..."

But it was interesting to learn that nothing quote-unquote "official" had happened between Heather and Eret yet. I was sure that Cami would be glad of this, though, since it probably meant that Heather would be somewhat easier to win over.

* * *

Later that day, I went into the Great Hall, hoping that Hiccup would be there. Surprisingly, he wasn't, and even more surprisingly it was completely empty. Or at least it seemed to be, before I noticed Ruffnut and Cami sitting at a table in the middle of the Hall.

They sat on one side of the table with another figure sitting on the other side, though the back of the tall chair was facing me so I couldn't see who it was yet. I sneaked over silently as Ruffnut said to their obscured companion _"I'm just really glad that you took the time to talk to us today... and I'm really sorry a..."_

"I'll just be the first to say it, Ruffnut..." Valka interrupted bluntly as she glanced at the girl. "I'm not entirely trusting of you after your little _deception_ last week, but for the sake of my friendship with Cami's mother, I've decided to hear what you girls have to say... now... I believe you said it was something about a _relationship_ or something?"

 _"Well, Aunt Val. It's like this..."_ Cami whispered quietly, prompting both Ruffnut's eyes and mine to widen at that nickname. _**Aunt Val?**_ Hm... I'd never even _seen_ Bertha and Valka together yet, but if Cami was comfortable enough to call her this, they really must have been close friends.

 _"I've got my heart set on Heather..."_ Cami continued, prompting Valka's eyes to widen a little. I could tell that Hiccup and Astrid's earlier reaction was more about the fact that Heather in particular was the girl she was interested in, but it was clear here that Valka was just as surprised by Cami's more... _open_ sexuality. After all, she'd only been on Berk for about two weeks, so she still had _a lot_ of catching up to do.

 _"But, well... Heather just needs a little... **persuasion...?** "_

"But she's dating Eret... who _I_ conveniently _also_ want outta the way... if you know what I mean, Val..." Ruffnut added smugly, but she was quickly shut up when Valka shot a venomous glare at her. Clearly Ruffnut was still at the edge of a very thin line that she did _**not**_ want to cross with Valka, so being all chummy wasn't exactly the best way to go at the moment. Not that her relationship with Hiccup or Astrid was any better than that.

 _"Look, Aunt Val... I just need your help..."_ Cami said, sounding a little more upset than before. _"I, uh... well, I... ugh... look, everybody thinks that I'm this expert at this sort of thing... but, truth is, I have no idea... I mean, I guess if Heather were single it'd be a little easier, but... but what if there **is** someone else?"_

"Well, I, um..." Valka pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to think. "Cami, darling, I'm... I'm afraid I don't have any human experience with that sort of thing... because, believe it or not, my betrothal to Stoick was fairly straightforward..."

 _ **"Really!?"**_ Ruffnut and Cami asked in-sync. Valka chuckled, pretending to be offended as she said _"well, I'm **shocked** to see that you think me so odd, ha ha..."_

 _"Well, I say we've got reason to..."_ Ruffnut snarked. Rather than shoot another glare at her, Valka simply shrugged in an uncannily similar way to how Astrid had with Heather, right down to saying "alright, I'll give you that..."

Initially this just made me feel even more regret at what I'd helped Ruffnut try to do last week, but now that it was taken care of I could be as happy as a clam that Astrid and Valka were so alike and got along even better since that night. But I digress.

Valka finally noticed me there, scratching under my chin as she continued with "because in the animal kingdom, issues like this are a much _simpler_ affair..."

 _"How so?"_ Cami asked.

"Well you know, just the typical animal rituals... laws of nature... alpha dragon... roosters in the hen house, that sort of thing..." Valka scoffed, unintentionally going off-topic. "If there's two suitors for the same target, it's just a matter of who impresses the most... or whoever _gets rid_ of their opponent first, of course..."

Cami's eyes went wide as a grin came to her face, seemingly taking Valka's ramblings seriously as if it were her _actual_ advice. _**"Alright, thanks, Aunt Val! Love ya! Bye!"**_ she snapped suddenly as she got up from the table, jumping over my head and sliding down my back as she rang out of the Hall.

Ruffnut stayed, both she and Valka going wide-eyed at her sudden takeoff. Ruffnut sighed, saying _"so... how long until I can actually have a conversation with you again? Because... you were actually pretty fun talking to in the woods..."_

Valka shrugged, saying "maybe when your little, um... _duty_ in the stables is over for good..."

 _"Okay, great. See ya!"_ Ruffnut shot up and followed Cami out of the Great Hall. Valka patted my head, saying "Toothless, did _you_ have any idea that Cami was a... a... um... _she preferred the company of women?_ "

I grumbled in an faux-accusatory tone, prompting her to say _**"what? No, I'm not intolerant of that at all... I'm just a wee bit surprised... I'm not judging her... it's her own choice and no one else's... it's perfectly fine..."**_

Rather than start an argument with my best friend's mother, I simply nodded and left her alone in the Great Hall. I couldn't help but think worried that Valka's words had given the girls the wrong idea on how to handle their situation. But simply because of Hiccup and Astrid, I needed to remain neutral. For now.


	4. Divided

As I continued looking around the village for Hiccup and Astrid, I heard Ruffnut and Cami talking again, looking around the back of the Thorston house to see them doing target practice together. I decided to remain hidden, still trying my hardest to at least be _partially_ neutral to this conflict.

"Valka's right, you know..." Cami said as Ruffnut threw her spear at the target, only for it to fly over and hit the wall instead. "Doing this the human way'd be too needlessly complicated..."

 _"So... you wanna kill Eret?"_ Ruffnut asked, with a slight hint of excitement in her voice. Cami chuckled, saying "no... of course not... well, _probably_ not, ha ha..."

I found myself chuckling a bit as she said this, though I wasn't loud enough for either of them to notice. Cami continued as Ruffnut went to get the spear, saying "no, I... I just think we need to _convince_ Heather that Eret's not any good for her... that's gonna be your job, Ruff..."

 _"Right..."_ Ruffnut said. _"And how do I do that, then?"_

"The _best_ way to win a war, dear Ruffnut..." Cami smugly said as she drew her sword out of the scabbard on her back and gripped the handle with both hands, swinging it diagonally to split the target in half with one swipe. _"Divide and conquer..."_

* * *

About an hour after this, I'd finally spotted Hiccup and Astrid in the Stall together, building a new saddle for Cloudjumper. Valka had helped with the design ideas, but she'd gone back to the house and was waiting to be surprised by the ending product. Of course it _was_ just a saddle, so this undoubtedly wouldn't be as disastrous as their _last_ attempt at surprising her. At least I hoped not.

 _"Hey, bud..."_ Hiccup said as I came into the forge. Astrid was about to say something, though the split-second that she had taken her attention off the saddle allowed her to slam a hammer hard on her hand. _**"UGH! Damn it!"**_

 _"Oh Gods! Astrid, are you o..."_

 _ **"I'm fine! UGH! Let's just finish this stupid saddle!"**_ Astrid shouted aggressively, wincing as she shook her injured hand before getting back to work. As the multiple bruises and cuts all over her forearms seemed to indicate, crafting saddles was _not_ Astrid's strong suit, especially since she didn't even have an excuse to cut something up with her axe.

"It's looking good, you guys..." I heard Heather call encouragingly as she looked through the window. When she noticed Astrid's multiple injuries, she chuckled a bit as she said "so Astrid, are you _absolutely sure_ that you don't want any help wi..."

 _ **"Hiccup and I are building this saddle for Valka! I don't want anyone else helping! Especially not another woman!"**_ Astrid snapped without even letting Heather finish her sentence.

Heather wasn't offended though, simply smiling as she said "alright, well... if you change your mind, I'll be having lunch with Eret in the Great Hall. Just send Toothless up if you need me..."

 ** _"We don't. Please leave."_**

 _"Okay. If you say so..."_ Heather said in a sarcastic sing-song voice as she walked towards the Great Hall. With Hiccup and Astrid still working on the saddle, I was able to look outside as I noticed Ruffnut stop Heather in the middle of the village. As I slowly left the forge without being noticed by the couple, I was able to see Cami waiting at the door to the Great Hall, and stopping Eret as he was about to go in.

* * *

 _"So... you and Heather were together once, then?"_ I heard Eret ask Cami as I went up the stairs. I went past them and through the door, though I hid behind it so I could still hear the conversation.

Cami was slightly embarrassed by his suggestion, saying "well, it wasn't serious at the time... it was the night I first came to Berk for the treaty signing... y'see, Heather had just shown up, and Snotface and the twins made me do this stupid stunt with Toothless... anyway, so... Heather and I went for a walk, and... well, it was some flirting, some jokes... and then we made out behind Gobber's Stall over there..."

Eret and I both went-wide eyed at this, as Cami continued with "yeah, it was about five minutes... probably the best of my life, to be honest... she tasted **_so_** good..."

 _"Ah, so..."_ Eret said. _"It was basically..."_

"A one-night stand?"

 _"Probably not even that. Sounds more like just harmless kissing, to be honest..."_

I noticed Cami briefly drop the faux-affable persona she was putting on for Eret, saying " _uh-huh..._ just harmless, _passionate_ kissing... well, you two enjoy your date..."

Cami stormed off so that Heather didn't see her, and I came out to look at Eret standing confused. He grinned as he looked at me, saying "women, eh? Some of them are _impossible_ to understand, aren't they?"

* * *

"So... you and Eret dated once?" I heard Heather say as I came back to see her talking to Ruffnut. She had an eyebrow raised as she said this, obviously implying that she wasn't buying whatever Ruffnut was selling.

 _"I'm afraid so..."_ Ruffnut said, attempting to sound sympathetic as she put a hand on Heather's shoulder. _"I don't wanna make things awkward and ruin the relationship that you and I have built up over the last few years, Heather... I value your friendship so much... I just wanna look out for you and make sure you don't join his long list of wrongly treated girlfriends..."_

" _Hm..._ well, usually I'd _thank_ you for your concern and advice, Ruff..." Heather began, a smug grin coming to her face as she removed Ruffnut's hand from her shoulder and added " _but..._ Eret already told me about how your little _infatuation_ with Hiccup last week happened because he quote-unquote _'saved'_ you after you fell off a perch... specifically, a perch that _Skullcrusher_ put you on after you annoyed Eret too much with your... ha ha... _affections..._ "

 _"Oh... right..."_ Ruffnut said, a worried tone in her voice as her eyes went wide. Heather chuckled, before saying "now, if you would excuse me, Ruff... I'm about to have lunch with your, um... ha ha... _your ex..._ nice try, though..."

Heather patted Ruffnut on the back and winked at me as she walked past and up to the Hall where Eret was. When Heather was out of sight, Cami ran over to Ruffnut and said "so... mission accomplished?"

 _"Uh... I guess?"_

"What do you mean you _guess?_ "

 _"Well... yeah, she didn't buy it..."_

 _ **"Damn it!"**_ Cami kicked the dirt angrily. " _ **Ugh...**_ well... alright, looks like we're gonna have to go for animal kingdom option 2..."

 _"Killing Er..."_

 _ **"No! At least not yet..."**_ Cami said, her smug grin coming back as she said "if we can't convince Heather that Eret is _worse_ than me, I'll just have to prove that I'm _better_ than him..."


	5. Trapped

I walked into the Great Hall to see Eret and Heather greet each other with a light peck on the cheek as they both sat down. They were both chortling at different things, prompting Eret to be the first to ask "so... what are you finding so funny...?"

 _"Well... ha ha... well, just a second ago I had a run in with one of your exes..."_ Heather snarked, struggling to hold in laughter as she added _"and apparently, you... ha ha, oh Gods... apparently, you've got a long list... a long list of wrongly... treated... girlfriends, **ah ha ha ha ha haa!** "_

She was having to lean on Eret to make sure she didn't fall off the table due to laughing too hard. Eret laughed too, saying "I'm going to assume it was Ruffnut?"

Heather nodded quickly as she had to hold her stomach to stop her sides from splitting, before Eret said "well, turns out I just spoke to your old girlfriend, too..."

 _"Oh, ha ha..."_ Heather laughed sarcastically. _"Very funny... Astrid's my best human friend, **and** a woman... that doesn't mean..."_

"I was actually talking about Camicazi..."

Heather's eyes went a bit wider as her laughing stopped, her hands wringing her braid awkwardly as she added _"oh... right... Cami..."_

"Yeah. You know, with all her talk about how women are better than men, I probably shouldn't have been that surprised that she was one of _those_ types..."

 _"So... she told you about that night...?"_

"What? That treaty signing? Yeah, she mentioned it..." Eret said, sounding much less upset than Heather or I had expected. "Apparently you tasted nice..."

 _"What? Ew... ugh... is she jealous or something?"_

"Eh... I dunno... pft... you know, maybe she and Ruffnut are putting some sort of breakup conspiracy or something..."

They both laughed at this, though without the ability to speak human I was unfortunately unable to tell Eret that he was _absolutely right_. As he laughed, Eret then said "but I _can_ see why you'd like her... _very wild, very free... obviously fairly aggressive..._ "

 _"Well, yeah. She's cute..."_ Heather grinned warmly as she thought of Cami. _"And... to be honest... ha ha... she tasted nice too..."_

* * *

The next morning, I was sitting with Stormfly just outside the village as we watched Cami and Eret racing around the island. Furious landed on the island first, so hard that she accidentally launched Cami off of her back into the bushes. Eret laughed loudly as Skullcrusher landed next to Furious and he jumped off, saying _"well, since I was able to stay **on** my dragon... I assume that means I win..."_

"Yeah, yeah, whatever... Furious and I are still working on landings..." Cami dusted herself off as she clambered out of the bushes and hugged her Hobblegrunt tight. Stormfly took off back to where Hiccup and Astrid were, but I stayed behind Eret and Cami as they walked down the hill with their dragons behind them.

 _"So... I talked to Heather about that your night together..."_ Eret said, a slightly smug grin on his face. Cami said "oh... you mean the _harmless kissing_ night? What'd she say?"

 _"Apparently you tasted nice too on that night too..."_

 _ **"Hm..."**_ Cami scoffed to herself confidently, before they stopped at a small shed a hundred yards away from the village. "Hey, this is new, isn't it..."

 _"Yeah, Skullcrusher and I built this last week... it's a spare weapons armoury..."_

"But it doesn't even look big enough to be a public toilet... how many weapons do you expect to store in here..." Cami snarked. Eret turned back to me and winked, hinting that this wasn't for weapons at all, but he continued with _"why don't you look inside and tell me how many?"_

"Well, okay, smarty..." Cami shrugged as she opened the door. They both hesitated for a few seconds, before Eret said _"Cami...?"_

"Yeah?"

 _"Heather was wondering... are you jealous of us?"_

"Jealous? Of you? _**Pft!**_ " Cami scoffed. "That doesn't sound very confident in your relationship..."

I noticed Eret grin as he said _"so... what was with the story yesterday, then?"_

"Well... to be frank, Eret... I don't think you're right for Heather..." Cami said smugly as she went into the shed, though as she looked around the small, confined space she couldn't have imagined any weapons that could have fit in there. "Of course, I don't think it'll take her long to figure that out... once I've beaten you up..."

 _"Well, I doubt we'll be resorting to that sort of thing..."_

"Oh yeah... And why's that?" Cami asked, though I noticed her freeze on the spot as Eret slammed the door shut behind her. He used himself as a barricade as we heard quick footsteps before Cami slammed into the door from the other side. She hammered it furiously with her fists, saying **_"Eret! Let me out right now!"_**

 _"I'm afraid I'm not going to do that, Cami..."_ Eret snarked as he made sure the lock on the door was extra tight. _"Y'see, I may not be as smart as Hiccup, but as far as I'm concerned, no one is... and being a former Dragon Trapper, I'm definitely not a fool..."_

 _ **"You will be if you don't let me outta here!"**_ Cami shrieked back. _**"You don't keep a Bog Burglar under lock and key!"**_

 _"Well, we'll see about that, won't we?"_ Eret patted the door with his hand, before adding _"oh, but what of Heather? Oh, she's going to be **so** disappointed when she finds out what you and Ruffnut were planning..."_

 _ **"You son of an Eret! Let me out right now!"**_

* * *

 _"Thanks for not letting Cami in on my plan, Toothless..."_ Eret said gratefully, patting the back of my neck as we walked back into the village. We saw Hiccup and Astrid next to Stormfly, as Astrid waved at us and shouted _**"so... who won?"**_

 **"I did!"** Eret answered arrogantly. "Well, technically at least, since Furious ended up throwing Cami into a bush..."

"Yeah, so what _exactly_ made you guys decide to have a race today?" Hiccup asked.

Eret raised an eyebrow, saying "well, you two know how Cami _had_ , or possibly _has_ , a minor crush on my lady-friend, Heather..."

I was struggling not to chuckle when both Hiccup and Astrid looked at each other and groaned audibly, before Hiccup said "really? You guys are _fighting_ over her? Ugh... Gods, that is such a _Cami_ thing to do..."

"Well I imagine you'll both be pleased to know that I'm doing the mature thing and making sure this is not going to resort to actual _fighting_..." Eret said happily. "Nobody's getting hurt for this. Not even Ca..."

 _"Wait a sec..."_ Astrid suddenly cut into Eret's sentence as she noticed Furious behind us without her rider. _"Eret, where is Cami now?"_

Eret opened his mouth to answer, before a voice right behind him said _**"right... here..."**_

He froze on the spot, turning slowly only to be sent off the ground by an uppercut from Cami, causing him to land hard on his back. I noticed Ruffnut and Valka coming over to watch the scene unfold, standing behind a wide-eyed Hiccup as he said _"Eret, please don't tell me you locked her up..."_

Eret sighed worryingly as he got back up. He shrugged, before awkwardly saying "maybe..."

 _"Right..."_ Hiccup nodded nervously as held Astrid close to him and they took a few steps back, Valka and Ruffnut following suit as they began to figure out what was about to happen. Eret turned back to Cami and said "right... so I'm going to assume you _don't_ like being locked up?"

 _"Like I said..."_ Cami clicked her knuckles into place before adding _"you **can't** keep a Bog Burglar under lock and key... and you **don't** keep a Bog Burglar under lock and key..."_

"Right, then... better note that down for future reference..." Eret nervously laughed. Cami wasn't amused, saying _**"and if Heather was worth anything to you, we'd settle this right here, right now!"**_

"That's fine by me, you frizzy-haired psycho!"

 _"Well, now he's gone and done it..."_ Hiccup grumbled under his breath, resigning himself to the fact that this fight was definitely going to happen now.


	6. Intervention

_"Kick his ass, Cami!"_ Ruffnut snapped as Cami struck first, sending a fist into Eret's stomach and catching him off-guard. She quickly had him on his back as she sat on his front punching him at rapid speed.

 _ **"I'm gonna**_ _ **give you a bruise for every dragon you've ever trapped!"**_ she snarked as she shot her fist forwards, only for Eret to catch it before twisting her forearm as she cried out. Cami wasn't deterred by this though, using her foot to kick Eret's face straight into the dirt before he sent a left hook straight into her cheek and knocked her off of him.

 _ **"Cami?!"**_ Hiccup called as Astrid struggled to hold him back. Cami got back up, allowing us to see the tiny cut on her cheek that Eret's punch had given her. She rubbed it with one of her fingers, looking at the single drop of blood that had come from it. She was slightly pissed off, but seemed to chuckle at it as she glared at Eret.

 _"Was that the best could you do?"_ she said mockingly, followed by a barely-audible whimper of fear from Eret. Even Astrid knew this wasn't going to end well, as she and Hiccup both looked at me and spoke the same order in-sync. _**"Toothless! Get Heather here now!"**_

* * *

I ran up to where Heather was petting Windshear near the Great Hall. When she noticed I was in a hurry to see her, she said _"hey, Toothless... whoa... what's gotten into you?"_

I had to hold back my excitement as I calmly pointed my tail in the direction of the fight, causing Heather's eyes to widen as she heard and saw what was happening.

 _"Oh... my... **Gods!** "_

* * *

 _"Oof!"_ I heard Eret grunt as I ran back to the fight, Cami having just back-flipped to kick him onto the ground. Heather ran to where the others were standing, saying _**"Eret! Cami! what the hell is going on here?!"**_

 _"Well, Cami's just trying to prove she's better for you than Eret by beating him up... y'know, like in the animal kingdom..."_ Ruffnut said nonchalantly, prompting Astrid, Heather and Hiccup to go wide-eyed at her. Ruffnut remained perfectly ignorant, pointing to Valka and saying _"well don't look at me. It was **her** idea..."_

 _ **"MOM!"**_ Hiccup snapped as Valka went wide-eyed, saying "well, it may have been a _wee bit_ lost in translation..."

 _"Ugh... I can't let this happen..."_ Heather said as she watched Cami kicking Eret while he as down, walking forwards a bit and shouting _**"Cami!"**_

"Oh, hi sweetie!" Cami said ignorantly before performing the People's Elbow on Eret as he grunted weakly. _**"CAMI! Cami, that's enough!"**_ Heather shouted again, her voice now getting angrier and angrier. _**"Cami! CAMI, STOP!"**_

Eret scrambled to his feet as Cami kept punching him, but my eyes went wider as I noticed Heather storming over to the fight to stop it herself. Cami lifted a dizzied and battered Eret to his feet and pulled her fist back for the final blow, but she didn't notice Heather grabbing the back of Eret's vest to pull him aside. As Cami shot her fist forwards with great force and intensity, time seemed to freeze for me and everyone else watching, allowing us all to see every single detail of what happened.

 _"Cami, I said that's..."_ ** _THWACK!_**

Hiccup, Astrid, Ruffnut and Valka all gasped as we heard the sound of a fist slamming into a face, which was immediately followed by Heather's surprised, high-pitched yell as a single, thin trail of crimson blood splashed onto the ground next to where she landed hard on her back. Cami hadn't even noticed what she had done, looking proudly at the rest of us with a smug grin on her face.

I didn't look at the others, too busy being shocked myself by what I had just seen, but I heard Astrid, Hiccup and Ruffnut speak one-at-a-time.

 _"Oh..."_

 _"...my..."_

 _"...Gods..."_

Cami was confused by their reactions, before hearing the sound of Heather coughing a few feet away. She looked for herself, allowing her own eyes to widen in shock as she saw what had happened. Heather was using one hand to prop herself up, using her other to wipe away the blood that went from the corner of her mouth down to her chin.

 _"Oh Gods! Heather... Heather, I'm... I..."_ Cami stuttered out quickly, before Heather suddenly turned her head to face her, which prompted everyone to go dead silent. Heather's fists were clenched and her face seemed to burn red with fury, before she got up and let out a distinct, ear-piercing shriek: a Berserker war-cry.

 _ **"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_


	7. Fallout

Within a second Heather had latched her hands onto Cami's throat and pinned her aggressively into the wall of the forge, the Beserker war-cry still flying out of her lungs. Hiccup and Astrid both ran over to try and stop Heather before her grip got too tight, Astrid grabbing her waist and trying to pull her backwards as Hiccup said _"Heather, don't do th..."_

 _ **"GET OFF ME!"**_ Heather shrieked as she briefly let go of Cami to shove both Hiccup and Astrid back at the same time. _**"This isn't about you two!"**_

Cami barely had two seconds to get her breath back before Heather turned back to punch her so hard that the back of Cami's head made a dent in the wall behind her. As Heather went back to strangling her I noticed a single stream of blood leaking from Cami's nostril from the punch, before Cami grabbed both of Heather's wrists and headbutted her hard.

 _ **"Ugh!"**_ Heather stumbled back and fell on her backside, the blood from Cami's nose having splashed onto her own face because of the headbutt. Cami took a second to regain her strength as she wiped her hand across her face to see the blood herself. It came down far more profusely than the cut on her cheek from Eret had done, an obvious sign that Heather was _not_ messing around here. They looked at each other with fists clenched and vicious scowls on both their faces, and it was at this point that I realised this was not a falling out between friends anymore.

It was a fight between an angry Bog Burglar and a _very_ angry Berserker. And nothing and no one else mattered.

 _ **"Astrid, look out!"**_ Hiccup grabbed his betrothed to yank her out of the way as Heather and Cami ran furiously at each other, almost butting heads again as they ended up latched together on the ground in a dirty, bloody struggle. Limbs were twisted, hair was pulled and kicks and punches were exchanged at a speed unlike anything I'd ever seen before. The rest of us were frozen in shock, hopelessly unable to intervene in the fight even if we had tried to.

Both their faces were red with fury and bruised, bloodied and beaten yet they both seemed to possess an endless amount of strength and energy to use here. As members of the two most aggressive, fearsome tribes in the Archipelago I wasn't sure if or when someone would eventually come out victorious, or who it would eventually be, though they finally started exchanging some words while they continued beating each other senseless.

"I can't believe you just ditched me for that stripy-chinned _doofus!_ " Cami snapped, punching Heather so that both her nostrils bled as she added "he's not right for you anyway!"

 _"And who are **you** to decide who's right for me?! Who is **anyone** to decide who's right for me?!"_ Heather snarled back. _" **I** make that decision, Cami! **No one else!** "_

"So... you're a _two-timer_ then?" Cami snarked as both Heather's hands had a tight grip on her hair. "Well... I'm not sure I'd be as interested in a _slut!_ "

I could have sworn that Heather's eyes went red with fury at this remark, but she let out another war cry as she headbutted Cami hard, dizzying her long enough for Heather to shove her back into the ground. Cami hit the back of her head hard on a rock behind her, lying on her back as Heather sat on her stomach and gripped the neckline of Cami's shirt. Heather was letting furious, burning tears stream down her bloodied cheeks as she used a hard punch in Cami's face to bridge the gaps between her words.

 ** _"Do... not... ever... call... me... a... slut!"_**

Everyone was wide-eyed and remained frozen as Heather released a much uglier and bloodier Cami from her vice-like grip and slowly got up, waiting about five seconds before using the rest of her adrenaline to send her left foot straight into Cami's stomach as she grunted _**"EVER!"**_

Cami wheezed violently as the kick crushed the wind out of her, groaning harshly as Hiccup and Astrid grabbed either of her arms so that she was sitting upright, though she was clearly too weak to actually move on her own.

Heather was huffing and puffing as she turned and stormed away from the scene, though I noticed her lifting her right foot a bit higher than the left as it gave her a slight limp. I later learned that Cami had both twisted and bitten her right ankle during their fight, so standing on it while she was kicking Cami's stomach with her left probably made her injury even worse.

The rest of us were still frozen stiff, but we snapped out of it when Eret slowly got up, groaning as he rubbed his head and said _"ugh... what'd I miss?"_

Hiccup and Astrid seemed to have overcome their shock of what had happened, both of them now having scowls on their faces as they looked at Cami, who shrivelled up with a nervous grin on her face. As I stood behind an equally nervous Ruffnut and Valka, I could tell they were both intending to run away, so as they turned to flee I simply lifted my wings up, allowing them to be tripped up while gaining Hiccup and Astrid's attention.

This was a _team effort_ , right Ruffnut? I don't think it's all that fair that Cami take all the credit...


	8. Realisation

**_"You guys have gone too far today, you hear me?!"_** Hiccup snapped angrily as he pointed to Cami, Ruffnut and Eret, who had been placed side-by-side in that particular order to prevent any more fighting. Eret was confused by this, saying _"hang on, you mean me as w..."_

 _ **"Yes!"**_ Astrid and Hiccup both interrupted him. I noticed that Valka remained silent as she stood behind the couple, before she slowly walked backwards saying _"well... I don't think you'll need me anymore, dears... so I'll just g..."_

 _ **"Stay... there... Mom..."**_ Hiccup snarled in a surprisingly aggressive tone through gritted teeth, prompting Valka to freeze on the spot, saying _"ah... right oh, not going anywhere..."_

 ** _"Valka, what the hell did you tell Ruff and Cami to do?"_** Astrid snapped next.

 _"Alright, alright... let's speak calmly..."_ Valka had her hands up to try and quiet everyone down as her son and future daughter-in-law now glared at her. "I wasn't trying to create a drama... Cami came to me yesterday asking for advice on how to deal with this little love triangle here... so if it's anyone's fault, it's Ruffnut's..."

 _"What?! Are you **trying** to get Astrid to break my nose again?!"_ Ruffnut whined, prompting Valka to shrug as she said _"eh... maybe..."_

"Alright, let's get back on track, please!" Eret interrupted. "Hiccup, I still don't see how I'm at fault here. This was clearly Cami's little plot. I was simply..."

 _"Marking your territory?"_ a voice snarked suddenly as we all went wide-eyed. Hiccup and Astrid turned to face the voice, Hiccup saying "oh, uh... hey Fishlegs... uh, we're just... trying to, uh..."

"I _know_ what happened, Hiccup..." Fishlegs snapped, an impatient and frustrated tone audible in his voice. "I just saw Heather walking pa..."

 _"Limping..."_ Valka corrected him.

"Fine... _limping_ past me. She's taking Windshear and she's going back to her village..."

 _ **"Oh, come on!"**_ Eret groaned while he and Cami began shoving and pushing each other as they both tried to get up. Cami grabbed him and said _"I've got to make sure Heather doesn't leave because of **your** stupidity!"_

 _" **My** stupidity?!"_ Eret snapped. _"Who punched Heather?!"_

 _ **"Who locked me in a shed?!"**_

 _"Who..."_

 _ **"ENOUGH!"**_ Hiccup, Astrid and Fishlegs shouted in-sync, before Fishlegs said _"you are **both** to blame!"_

 _ **"What?!"**_ Eret and Cami said in-sync, each pointing an accusing finger at the other. Fishlegs groaned, before saying _"Heather is mad at you both! She's leaving because she's sick of you two fighting over her!"_

 _"What, she's **mad?** "_ Cami said. _"She should be **honoured** that she's attractive enough to be fought over. Hiccup was last week!"_

 _"What? No, I wasn't honoured at all! Cami, what are you ta..."_

 _" **Ugh!** Shut up ruining my point, Hiccup!"_

 ** _"Heather is not a trophy!"_** Fishlegs snapped. _**"She's a person! She has feelings! Rights! And she deserves to be treated like it!"**_

Eret and Cami were both shocked into silence as Fishlegs said this. Ruffnut scoffed, however, laughing as she said _"oh yeah, ri- **OOF!** "_

When Ruffnut landed on her back after Cami punched her, I noticed her barely-healed nose was spurting out blood again. No one else paid any attention though, as everyone looked at Fishlegs. _"Look, Heather would probably be open to give either of you a chance if you both weren't so wrongly possessive of her!"_

 _ **"Exactly!"**_ Hiccup added before Astrid said "and Heather herself would decide who to pick! Not you, and not fighting! Heather's choice is Heather's choice!"

 _"Ugh... oh, I'm such a fool..."_ Eret said as he put his hand to his face in shame. I expected Cami to at least respond with an _"I told you so..."_ comment after their earlier conversation, but she was clearly just as regretful at what had happened as Eret was as they spoke nearly in-sync.

"What..."

 _"...have..."_

"...we..."

 _"...done?"_

They both looked dully at each other for a good five seconds, before Cami broke the silence with "I guess we've both got stuff to fix?"

 _"I suppose..."_ Eret said without much enthusiasm. They both got to their feet, as Eret grinned weakly before saying _"so... I suppose we need to ask Heather who to pick?"_

 _ **"Are you serious right now?!"**_ Astrid had to be held back by Hiccup as Eret said this. He then put up a hand, saying _"I'm joking. I'm joking... Gods... no, don't worrry... we know what we **actually** need to do..."_

 _"Welp... looks to me like you're a little late..."_ Ruffnut snarked weakly as she got off the ground, clutching a bloody hand over her nose as she looked up to the sky. _**"What?!"**_ Cami and Eret said in-sync as they looked up too, seeing Windshear flying overhead with Heather riding her.

 _ **"Heather! No, wait!"**_ Cami called, though Heather was too high up to hear her. She looked at Eret, who nodded before they both ran up the hill shouting **_"Skullcrusher! Furious!"_**

The rest of us were standing there still, before Valka looked at Hiccup and Astrid and said _"so... where would you say the best place was to watch this from?"_

 _ **"Really?"**_ Hiccup snarked in annoyance with an eyebrow raised, before we all kept looking up to keep watching as Eret and Cami took to the skies.


	9. Apology

_"Heather!"_ Cami called, prompting the latter to scowl bitterly as she turned to see Cami and Eret flying behind. _"Heather, we need to talk!"_

 _ **"Ugh! Just leave me alone!"**_ she snapped back. **_"You two are literally the last people in the world I want to talk to right now!"_**

 _"Hm..."_ when I heard this I looked up at Ruffnut as she began grinning, the blood from her nose still gushing out as she kept pinching it. She raised an eyebrow and looked at me, which also got Astrid's attention. And not the positive kind.

 _ **"What are you plotting now?!"**_ she spat aggressively as she clenched her fists, Hiccup having to restrain her slightly to stop a _third_ fight from breaking out today. Ruffnut was slightly nervous as she, with her voice being nasally due to her pinching her nose, said _"well... I just thought... maybe Toothless could help get Heather to come back down..."_

Hiccup raised an eyebrow, not knowing what she meant at first as he said _"wait, what do you mea... oh no..."_

As he groaned, he unintentionally released his grip on Astrid, allowing her to grab a shovel off the ground and slam it into Ruffnut's face with a metallic _**BONK!**_

 _"Oh, come on, Astrid... that was **not** a headbuttable offence..."_ Hiccup snarked as Ruffnut fell back crying. Astrid shrugged with a smug grin on her face, dropping the shovel as she said _"don't care... wanted to do that for a week..."_

 _"That's my girl..."_ Valka said with an equally smug tone as Astrid smirked back.

 ** _"Please, Heather! Just give us a chance!"_** Eret shouted as we all looked up, though Heather was clearly ignoring them both. I was beginning to realise what Ruffnut was talking about as Windshear began to fly further away.

 _ **"Toothless!"**_ Hiccup and Astrid both snapped as I spat out a plasma blast that tore up through the sky towards Windshear. The Razorwhip noticed with little time to react, haphazardly swerving sideways to narrowly avoid the blast. Heather hadn't, however, so when her dragon turned, the sudden change of angle caused her to lose her grip on Windshear as she plummeted screaming towards the sea. _**"Windshear!"**_

 _ **"HEATHER!"**_ everyone shouted in-sync as she continued falling. Hiccup and Astrid were both quickly trying to get on my back to fly up and catch her, only for us all to stop as we saw Furious and Skullcrusher fly down to Heather as Eret and Cami each grabbed one of her arms to hoist her back up. Heather clearly didn't enjoy or appreciate the rescue, since she was wildly kicking and cursing as Eret and Cami landed their dragons.

As soon as she was let back on the ground, Heather had begun storming away from her admirers and their dragons. Cami said _"Heather, are you o..."_

 _ **"What is wrong with you people?! Can't you tell when somebody wants to be left alone?!"**_ Heather snapped back, grunting through gritted teeth each time she put her right foot on the ground.

 _"We just wanted to talk, okay?"_ Eret said as Cami nodded. Heather scoffed, saying _**"oh, right! And I guess shooting me out of the sky was the best way to do that, then!"**_

I grinned innocently as Hiccup and Astrid both glared at me, before Cami "well, in Toothless' defence, you were gonna leave if he didn't..."

 _ **"I still am leaving, you stupid pig! Windshear!"**_ Heather called to her dragon as she began walking towards her. _**"If you two wanna continue your little measuring contest, which I know doesn't make sense because you're different genders, I want no part in it! And I want nothing to do with either of you! So you can take your quote-unquote 'affections' and go fu..."**_

 _ **"We're sorry, okay!?"**_ Cami shouted, prompting Heather to freeze on the spot before she could get back on to Windshear. _"We're sorry, Heather... we both are..."_

We all watched nervously as Heather pinched the bridge of her nose and turned back around. She sighed, a very frustrated tone in her voice as she said _"sorry's... ugh... sorry's just not enough..."_

 _"You're right..."_ Eret said next. _"You're absolutely right, Heather... we've... we've both been selfish, reckless and more stupid than we've ever been before..."_

Cami nodded slowly, before saying "and we never thought about you or how you felt about it... but..."

 _ **"...but we will now..."**_ both Eret and Cami spoke in-sync as they said this, both equally sincere.

Heather was wringing her hands together nervously as we all looked at her, clearly not sure what to say or how to react to their apology yet. Hiccup and Astrid remained silent, both of them having enough respect for Heather to not try influencing her decision. Valka didn't know Heather well-enough yet to make an influence, and Ruffnut was still lying face-first in a puddle of her own blood.

 _"Okay... okay... okay, okay, okay..."_ Heather sighed to herself, putting her hands over her eyes and leaning back against Windshear. Cami and Eret glanced at each other nervously, before Heather stood back up straight again and crossed her arms.

 _"Alright... I won't leave..."_

 _ **"YES! HA HA!"**_ Cami and Eret gave one another a celebratory high-five, before dropping their happy looks as Heather added _"but..."_

 _ **"But?!"**_

 _"Yes..."_ Heather had an eyebrow raised as they both anxiously looked at her again. _"I'm not leaving... but... if you guys **ever** resort to that immature fighting for my hand crap again... I'll kick **both** your asses, then we'll never make eye contact ever again! **Understand?** "_

"Well, I personally think that Eret and I have come to a mutual, silent agreement on that... right, stripes?" Cami shoved Eret humorously as he nodded and said _"that's right... ha ha... we have indeed, Cami..."_

 _"Ooh... interesting..."_ Heather was clearly pretending to be impressed by this, shrugging with her usual smug grin as she said _"well... I guess that's a deal, then..."_

 _ **"Oh, thank Gods..."**_ Cami exhaled heavily as if a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders. The others were all grinning warmly, except for Fishlegs, who still had his arms crossed as he said _**"Heather, are you seriously letting them off that easy?"**_

We all wide-eyed at his sudden outburst, before Fishlegs scoffed and pointed to Eret saying _**"I guess this guy just gets a get-out-of-jail-free card for everything he does... no matter how disrespectful or backstabbing it is... and girls just can't seem to resist him or his superficial quote-unquote 'charm', can they?!"**_

 _"Well, he is pretty hot... **UGH!** "_ Ruffnut scoffed before an enraged Astrid kicked her hard in the face. _"Alright, I'm just gonna keep you away from Ruffnut for now..."_ Hiccup snarked as he pulled Astrid back and put her over with Valka. I saw Fishlegs sigh angrily before saying "whatever..." as he stormed away. Even Eret seemed somewhat saddened by his anger, but Cami simply patted Eret on the back as she said _**"ah, don't worry... he'll get over it... ha ha..."**_

 _"I hope so... but Heather, I'm just wondering..."_ Eret said as Heather looked at him.

"Uh... wondering what?"

 _"Well... it's entirely up to you, of course, but... which of us do you actually prefer?"_

 _ **"Ugh! Are you serious right now?!"**_ everyone except Eret said in-sync, prompting him to laugh as he put his hands up. _"Only joking... only joking..."_


	10. Epilogue

_**"Faster, bud!"**_ Hiccup shouted as we flew around the island, Astrid and Stormfly narrowly flying behind us as we finally landed just in front of Gobber's stall. The couple were laughing as they climbed down and Astrid ran into Hiccup's arms with her usual loving kiss on the lips.

"So... you think Stormfly's getting any faster?" she asked excitedly, before Hiccup raised an eyebrow and said _"you didn't feed her chicken again, did you?"_

"What? Of course not..." Astrid punched him on the arm for that, pretending to be offended that he would accuse her of doing such a thing again. Hiccup shrugged it off with a grin and said _"ha ha... well... whatever you say, milady..."_

"Alright..." Astrid took a deep breath as Hiccup scoffed playfully, before she said "let's finish your mom's saddle..."

They were still both laughing as they went into the forge, and I sat curled outside as Stormfly went back to the Hofferson house. Just when I thought I could have a well-earned morning nap after all the trouble the day before, I heard Ruffnut's voice as I woke up scowling to see her standing over me. _"Hello, again..."_

Being nice enough to not create a scene and distract Hiccup and Astrid from their work, I stayed begrudgingly silent as Ruffnut slumped down on the ground next to me. She had even more bandages on her recently re-broken nose, but she seemed perfectly friendly again.

 _"Aw, would you look at that... the lovebirds are courting... egh..."_ she scoffed in a snarky tone as she pointed a finger inside her mouth, prompting me to look about a hundred yards forwards to see Cami and Eret standing side-by-side in front of Heather. Cami gave her a bunch of Primroses that Heather chuckled warmly at as she put them next to the Liverworts that Eret had given her.

"Good day to you, dear Heather..." Eret theatrically-bowed in a tone that mixed playful with respectful as Heather and Cami both laughed. All their bruises had lightened up after the day before, and as Heather walked up to Windshear she seemed to be in a lot less pain as she walked on her right foot.

 _"So..."_ I heard Eret say to Cami. _"Which ones do you think she liked better?"_

 _ **"Eh... whatever she prefers, I don't mind... besides, I'll just one-up you next time... ah ha ha!"**_ Cami scoffed as she shoved Eret jokingly, who simply shrugged with a smug grin. They were still rivals, _apparently_ , but now it seemed more like a casual and fun competition between friends than a fierce fight to the death.

 _ **"Alright, we're done! Finally!"**_ we heard Hiccup sigh in relief as he and Astrid, whose hands were still covered in cuts and bandages, took the saddle up towards the Haddock house to show Valka. Ruffnut still scoffed in annoyance at the sight of Eret and Cami, before looking at me and saying _"complicated, right?"_

As I nodded at Ruffnut's remark, I began to think to myself. About Cami's first arrival on Berk, the betrothal fiasco with Valka last week, and the little incident with Cami, Eret and Heather now. I realised that, if I'd really learned anything from these experiences, it was that I still knew **_absolutely nothing_** about how humans, especially Vikings, handled relationships.

If I were ever to fall in love, I could only hope that a dragon's mating rituals weren't quite as... well... _complicated_ as a human's.

* * *

 **THE END**


End file.
